What does interconnectedness feel like?
Recently, something happened that moved me deeply.
I had some time between coaching clients outdoors, so as I often do, I went to my favourite cafe. It was very busy and I wanted a more quiet time so I went to the cafe further down the road. I hardly ever go there. When I was about to pay for my coffee and croissant, I realised that I didn’t have my wallet with me so I told the barista to not start making the coffee as I’d left my wallet at home. However, she told me not to worry, to just sit down and that I could come back later and pay. I was gobsmacked and moved by her trust and kindness.
This gesture has stayed with me and I have been wondering if this is what interconnectedness feels like. When we see ourselves reflected in the other, see our humanness, our basic goodness that we all possess and that connects us all.
This might sound grand to you because nothing major happened. Or did it? Isn’t it in the small things that the bigger stuff of life manifests and can be understood more fully and deeply?
But what is the bigger stuff here? The woman-in-the-cafe’s goodness, open-heartedness and trust reflected those very qualities back to me, reminded me of my own intrinsic natural goodness and open-heartedness. It led to the very thing we all long for: to feel connected. Connection is recognised as the top universal need before love.
So the big stuff here is the recognition that we are not separate – I’m here and you are there, I’m here and nature (all life) is out there. It’s the recognition that we are all interconnected: interconnected with all life.
I find this insight particularly helpful in the face of Russia’s aggression against Ukraine and the risk of polarisation (evil vs good).
This image speaks for itself.
When we stop what I call ‘selfing’ (Me here, you there or Me, Me, Me – what about me?) and start opening ourselves up to others and all life around us, our experience of life changes fundamentally. This doesn’t mean giving up on ourselves or disappearing into the crowd. No, it means understanding and discovering that the boundaries between you and I are porous, between us and the environment, between all beings – humans and non-humans alike. And with that comes a great sense of freedom because we don’t spend so much energy anymore keeping ourselves separate (disconnected).
So then the question is: How do we practise interconnectedness in our day-to-day life and what does it feel like?
Here are some things you could try out:
Start practicing mindfulness:
Mindfulness means the awareness that arises when we pay attention on purpose to ourselves, others and all life around us with an attitude of kindness, compassion, empathy and care. Practicing mindfulness is not just about sitting on a cushion quietly, it’s about how we live our lives moment by moment by moment.
Spend some time in nature on your own and without your headphones:
As William Wordsworth (English poet) said: Nature is our greatest teacher.
Notice and open up to the earth, sky and all life around you, the trees, wind, sounds of the birds.
What do you feel, see, hear?
What does it feel like to be right here in the midst of all life? What does it feel like if you perceived everything as alive?
Can you adopt an attitude of respect: this world is extraordinary, there is nothing mundane about it. Wonder, beauty, care…
Think of an impactful situation or conversation you’ve had recently.
What happened that made it so meaningful?
How did it move you?
How did it feel?
Do something good for someone, for example send an encouraging text to someone who might need it or offer help, make a donation…
What does it feel like to reach out to someone in this way, to go beyond your own self-concern, to tap into your basic goodness and capacity for compassion?
Do something good for the planet (we only have this one), for example, change a habit that reduces your footprint so you can tread more lightly on the planet.
What does it feel like to give up a convenience and comfort for the benefit of all beings, all life?
What does it mean for you?
And what does it feel like?
The image above represents an ancient Hindu / Buddhist image called Indra’s Net, a profound model of interconnectedness. At every vertex of the net there is a multifaceted jewel. It’s the property of Indra’s Net: every facet of every jewel reflects every other jewel in the net. We could think of ourselves, humanity, and all life, in this way. We inter-are, we inter-be.
Coaching Immersion Days in Nature
Spring is on its way. Bookings are open again (March – October) for my Coaching Immersion Days in nature on the stunning Seven Sisters south coast or in the beautiful Surrey Hills. If you love the outdoors and long for some time and space away from your day-to-day work-life routine to enter into a deeper conversation with yourself and how your life is going, then why not book an initial chat to benefit from a Coaching Immersion Day.
Email me to find out more and/or to book your complementary initial coaching conversation.